I just wanted to send you an email for the last stretch...I'm in a really strange mood. It's really foggy and rainy outside, but for some reason (who knows? ;)) everything's clear inside my head. I think I'm going to start writing again when I end this email, heh.
There's a song (hebrew folk song) that is from the '50's, that I always really liked, it's called "Next Year", and in it, the song goes "you will see, you will see, how good it will be, in the next year"..something like that in transliteration, though bear in mind that it's prettier in hebrew. (the tune is something like this: http://www.greatjewishmusic
Anyway, that wasn't a random aside, I just wanted to bring it up, because I've been thinking about it a lot. It's a song of hope about how great the next year will be, when "we'll throw open our hands into the white light" and "pleasant breezes will blow along the way / (with) old newspapers and clouds." And come to think about it, I'm pretty hopeful for this year. I mean, unlike last year, you're in it, and we've got a year to enjoy ourselves.
Enjoy work, and be happy.
--
Hey R,
Sorry about last night. As I'm sure you've noticed, I've been busying myself, getting groceries (and having them quickly eaten), ordering books, and hanging out with friends. I realized how much of a punk I must've sounded the other day...a friend of mine also considered switching majors because she got a b in calculus. In the past, I wanted to transfer to Brown, but I've decided [C's] good enough for me. I like it here. Surprisingly enough (or perhaps not surprisingly at all), my parents don't care. My mom wanted me to go to [D], and they thought [C] was a good school. Since eighth grade, it's been me pushing myself to be obsessed with grades and 'going somewhere' -- hence the question yesterday. Perhaps I just can't believe the end job is actually fulfilling, exciting, or worthy of pride. I'm sounding out the depths of your job, too. How many processes go into one room? I mean, when you enter, say, your office, how many different systems are at work? Is it more a matter of being precise in a few variables, or taking a lot of variables into account?
'Sex' with you, by the way, is amazing. On that subject, however, I just want to apologize again for Monday night. I definitely don't want to make the relationship all about sex, and would like to do other things. You still owe me dancing under the stars, and we still have to see other mansions, and I think I can borrow my friends' bike and go to Sausalito with you perhaps on Sunday.
In terms of conversation, I'm sorry about getting frustrated with you. Sometimes I am just quiet.
Your book is interesting so far. I'm about half-way through. I love his coinage of the word 'pornspeak' and his parallelism between nihilistic new-wave and his father's Kerouac-ian ideals. On a related note, like Jamie, I'm pretty dirt-poor nowadays, so I think we should stop eating dinner out and start packing lunches. When I see you today, I think I'm going to bring my grandmother's redpepper soup. Just enough for two bowls, says my mother.
Enjoy work.
See you tonight,
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